Sunset outside my window
Doing this at the end of each year is often a bit of a struggle, because so much happened. In some years, I struggled figuring out what to write. This year, I struggled more from deciding what to keep. A lot had to be cut from the final draft.
But it has been a good year. I have broken down this note into three parts:
- A reflection on work and life
- Memorable moments in 2025
- My outlook on 2026
On Work and Life
Unlike in 2024, I had a full year of full-time work in 2025. How has it been at Antithesis? I had my annual review with my managers a couple of weeks ago, and it has been very positive. Not only was I able to deliver customer success in my everyday duties, I was able to also go beyond and contribute to various areas of our product design and development.
In fact, this year of working life in the US has led me to a bunch of things I thought of reflecting on, but I'll stick with one today: work culture differences between the East and the West. While my experiences are limited to my career that is entirely in tech start-ups, I believe it applies more broadly based on conversations with friends from various industries.
I remember I worked A LOT during my 8.5 years of working life in Singapore. This was before my sabbatical and MBA. When I founded my first start-up, I went 2.5 years without a break or vacation. Only by around then I started to feel that the company was stable enough for me to take a week off to travel. After I sold the start-up and joined the acquirer, it was still a silent expectation for work to spill into the weekends. This is generally true across all sectors, even in the public sector — I know firsthand through the government contracts I had and from friends in the Civil Service. Sure, you may not need to work outside office hours, but you are expected to be contactable and respond if reached. There isn't really a right to switch off. Granted, this is mild compared to the 996 culture that exists in China.
On the other hand, my time at Antithesis showed me how durable work-life separation is in the US and in "Western" culture generally. This is not to say nothing ever happens outside office hours, rather, it is rare, such as when we were preparing for the press release of our $105MM Series A. I recall one particular time: it was about 7 PM and I was still in office trying to figure something out for a customer. Our engineers usually have their Board Games night on Wednesdays, and I had a question for one who built a certain product feature. But that person flatly refused to answer my question, saying that Board Games night was part of his work-life balance, and will be happy to chat first thing next morning instead. This despite having a good working relationship with this person. Don't get me wrong: I fully respect that. (I ended up sorting it out myself.)
In fact, my managers and team members throughout the year have expressed concern that I should take more steps to prevent burn out. One of them had even pulled me aside to ensure I was taking enough time off. My colleague was concerned as I was working over Thanksgiving (we normally have three days off) — I had requested to work out of our London office that week as they didn't celebrate Thanksgiving there. I suppose it is easy put a man in a different culture, but it is hard to pull a different culture out of a man.
Anyway, my manager approved the travel as there were good reasons for me to be there. It would be my first time in the UK. Working out of London gave me further perspectives on "Western" work cultures — I use quotes around "Western" because they clearly aren't homogenous. But the delineation between work and life in the West is more clearly defined than it is in the East.
Case in point is a customer I have. They are a Chinese company based in Singapore, and I was supporting them while the US office was closed for Thanksgiving. I have received support requests while it was nighttime in Singapore, and over the weekends too. I'm not complaining — I understand, coming from that work culture. But I had to learn to wait a little before responding so as not to create unreasonable expectations, while creating self-service solutions for them on the side so that they didn't have to wait for us to help them with certain tasks.
The natural question that arises is then: which work culture is better? I don't have a clear answer. There is the economic and productivity argument, and countering it is the long-term personnel health and sustainability argument. There is also the comparison between living to work and working to live. The longer I'm into my career, the less I'm sure which is better.
The thing is, it has been shown that work is essential to one's well-being. Both our mental acuities and physical abilities are tested to varying capacities depending on the work. Without work, they would simply atrophy.
Sure, overwork is certainly a bad thing, but "work" itself isn't. I speak from experience because I took a sabbatical for a little over a year after my previous role in 2021. While I was able to do the things I wanted to but was never able to as a founder, nothing was particularly strenuous. Granted, at that time, COVID-19 restrictions were still firmly in place, preventing activities like travel. But still, it was like lifting a one-pound dumbbell when you knew you could lift many, many times more. Several months in and I started to feel bored. There was a certain sense of challenge and intensity work brought that I surprisingly missed. I have reflected on this period of my life numerous times over the past few years now and I can assure you that it wasn't Cypher wanting to go back to the Matrix.
There was a podcast with Neil deGrasse Tyson earlier this year. He reflected on various things, including aging. In my view, it wasn't a very good podcast, but he said this:
The fact that we die has a capacity to bring focus into the remaining time you're alive. Think about it. If knowing you're going to die brings focus and purpose and resolve and action, then if you lived forever, what's your hurry?
For me, knowing I'm going to die gives meaning to my remaining life. Whereas, if I'm never going to die, then mathematically that would mean I'd lead a life of no meaning at all because there's no way to focus an infinite amount of time into anything and have it be meaningful.
— Neil deGrasse Tyson, A Diary of a CEO, at 3:17
The lack of time constraints make moments meaningless. This is a fundamental reason why many who pursued the Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE) goal end up going back to work after "retiring" early. They never figured out what "retirement" was, or more importantly, what they wanted to live for, before spending years accumulating investments, often under austerity. Tim Ferriss is instructive in his suggestion to take "mini-retirements" — save some money and take a month or two off to try out what your idea of retirement is, before committing decades to get there and finding out that you didn't like it after all. My 2021-22 sabbatical did a little of that for me.
So, what has this to do with work-life balance? "Work-life balance" implies that there is a clear trade-off between "work" and "life". Specifically, the time allocated to "work" and "life". If it isn't clear yet, my point is that for some people, the separation isn't clear. And it doesn't have to be. For some people, work is life. There can be an integration between the two. "Work" can give as much meaning as "life". I suspect this to be more true in the East than it is in the West.
I can hear some of you responding: well, no one on their deathbed said that they regretted not working more. Some of you may also say that the sole reason you work so hard is because of your family. Yes, I get it. But hear me out: you will also find retirees who had meaningful careers reminisce their working lives, such as with past colleagues. They talk about the things they did that made a difference. I find this especially true among military veterans.
I am also reminded of the events of Jesus and the woman at the well, and after. His disciples had gone to buy food, and left him at a well in Samaria. There, he met a woman and shared the Gospel with her. The disciples came back and found him nourished, and were puzzled.
Then his disciples said to each other, "Could someone have brought him food?"
"My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of him who sent me and to finish his work.
So perhaps, the real question is not which work culture is better, but: Is "work" as meaningful as "life" is to you?
Because doing what is meaningful to you nourishes you.
And here, I speak of "work" as more than just a "job", or activity traded for financial gain. One's whole body of work can involve many areas. Parents, for example, can have as equally meaningful careers as raising their children. Therefore, rather than seeking more ways to compartmentalize areas of our lives, perhaps we should ask which areas are perfunctory, and cut them out. We should ask: How do we set our time and attention to the things that mean the most to us, and live a life more integrated to who we really are?
Because our time is ticking.
"This Present Moment" by Alicia Eggert (2020) at the Renwick Gallery
2025 Memories
Here is where I share some of my memorable moments in 2025.
Early in the year, I moved to a new apartment community that is closer to my workplace. It was a new building with new residents, so the vibe was a lot more social than an established apartment community. I became good friends with a number of my neighbors, and we have since gone on hikes, watched movies, visited museums, and hung together at many social events at the common spaces and the town center nearby.
Hike to the Great Falls, Virginia, with my neighbors, Summer 2025
However, one thing completely changed my approach to life in the US. It was the new administration. I was working legally here under my student visa through the Optional Practical Training (OPT) program, which was only valid for a year. There was a STEM OPT Extension that I was eligible for, and applications opened in mid-May. Although I applied within a week, no one knew what would happen with everything going on. I was also advised not to leave the country pending the decision, otherwise I might not be able to return. I had to miss my cousin and her husband's master's graduation in the UK that summer.
Although my OPT ended in July, I could still legally remain and work for 180 more days pending the STEM OPT decision. Because there was a real possibility that my application might be denied, and I might have to leave the US for good in January 2026, I decided to make the best of my remaining time here. I resolved to do three things:
- I was going to visit at least one new museum or landmark every weekend, except in extenuating circumstances. The MBA program had kept me so busy for two years that I didn't really visit all the places DC had to offer, especially the Smithsonian locations. And while doing that, try to catch-up with a friend over coffee.
- I was going to attend concerts and performances of bands and artists I liked. At that time, I could count only three in my two years here.
- I was going to pay off my student loans by the end of the year. While I paid most of my MBA tuition and living expenses with cash and scholarships, I also took out some loans to avoid drawing down too much on my investments.
Thomas Jefferson Memorial, Spring 2025
Months went by and I didn't hear anything. October came and the US Federal Government shut down, which meant that it might be delayed for an indefinite amount of time. I shared my concerns with my boss, and the company was prepared to pay the priority fee to expedite my application (despite the shutdown) and failing which, to relocate me to the London office.
Space Shuttle Discovery, Smithsonian's National Air and Space Museum: Steven F. Udvar-Hazy Center
Thankfully, a kind soul at the US Citizen and Immigration Services (USCIS) — who was working without compensation, approved my application on October 8, just as I was about to apply for priority processing, ending this stressful and uncertain period. I can now legally remain here until at least mid-2027.
Qing Bao (青宝) at the Smithsonian's National Zoo and Conservation Biology Institute
That aside, on museums and landmarks, I made significant progress.
"General George Washington Resigning His Commission" by John Trumbull (1824), The Price of Freedom Exhibition, Smithsonian's National Museum of American History
At the suggestion of my MBA colleague and friend, Emily Hunt, I started collecting a fridge magnet from each museum or landmark I visited.
It was fun and educational, and honestly, many of these places were not possible to complete within two to three hours. And there are still more places to see.
"Banksquiat. Boy and Dog in Stop and Search" by Banksy (2018), Basquiat × Banksy exhibition, Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden
I will continue visiting and revisiting these places for the remaining of my time here.
"Under the Pines, Evening" by Claude Monet (1888), Philadelphia Museum of Art
On performances, I should first say that music is a big part of my life, even though I have rarely gone to concerts back in Singapore. There are two reasons:
- Only the biggest acts ever make it to Singapore because of our relatively small market. And much of the music I listen to are from smaller artists.
- Even if a big artist I liked made it to Singapore, the tickets were often expensive.
So live music for me was often at bars. Over the years, I've gotten to know a few very talented indie bands, performers, and DJs in Singapore. I wished more could see and celebrate their talent. The arts is one aspect of Singaporean society that has suffered under our pragmatic culture.
But things are different in the US. There is a greater appreciation and support for the arts at all levels. The town center I live next to in fact hosts free concerts every Saturday all through summer.
And 15 minutes away is the Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, the only National Park dedicated solely to the performing arts. The Filene Center there is a beautiful wooden outdoor auditorium that seats 3,800, and right outside is the lawn that seats another 3,200. Attendees could buy a ticket to sit within or outside with their own picnic mats and refreshments.
The Filene Center at the Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts
I did a search and ultimately went to four here in the second half of 2025.
Eric Gales. He is a blues guitarist and was performing his last show of his "Crown" tour at The Hamilton.
A friend in Singapore introduced me to his work during the pandemic, and I was impressed. His performance of "Little Wing" at the now defunct Slidebar in Los Angeles is legendary. He ended the show with an awesome medley of "Voodoo Chile", then something I can't place (let me know if you know), "Für Elise", "Kashmir", "Back In Black", and wrapping up back at "Voodoo Chile".
Diana Krall.
I love jazz and learned about her many years ago in Singapore. I was never able to attend any of her past three concerts there (2008: just started college, no money; 2016: I was fighting to keep my start-up alive; 2024: I was already in the US), but I was able to see her perform at Wolf Trap. Her song "The Look of Love" is iconic. You wouldn't tell she's already 60!
Pink Martini. They are an American band that describes themselves as: "If the United Nations had a house band in 1962, hopefully we would be that band." And so they perform songs in some 17 languages.
I got to know them when I took French classes around 2009-10. Our teacher got us to sing their most famous song, "Sympathique" Apparently the song had become so popular in France that the French would sing it when they went on strikes. I never thought I would ever see them live. In fact, I had forgotten about them until their song came up one day on my playlist. They performed at the Filene Center on their 30th Anniversary tour, and it was such a treat.
One thing I learned: always visit the merch stand before the show starts. They had autographed posters on sale but they had run out when I got there after the show. It's one of my regrets this year as their lead singer, China Forbes, is taking a two-year hiatus after the tour.
Joe Bonamassa. Joe is probably the best living blues guitarist today. He performed at Wolf Trap last Fall.
How did I know about the blues as an Asian? Blues is a very American thing — it came out of the American Deep South in the 1860s. Well, I used to play the guitar some time ago. My dad, himself a guitarist, had a bunch of blues and rock DVDs, including Stevie Ray Vaughan's which I watched as a teenager. And it is foundational for a learner: many genres of music today, including rock and roll, jazz, country, western, ragtime, R&B, etc., all trace back to the blues. But the original blues has fallen out of favor. Joe is one of several who keep it alive. I like his songs "Blues Deluxe" and "Sloe Gin", although he played neither that night.
One thing I did not realize until much later in the show started with the curiosity that a few members of the band were wearing shirts with "Reese Wynans" on them. He's the keyboardist, but it was only when he started doing a solo that it struck me: I had seen someone perform like that before — Stevie Ray Vaughan's keyboardist in those DVDs! Yes, THE Reese Wynans tours with Joe Bonamassa, and a web search confirmed it so.
He performed with Stevie in the late 80s until his untimely death. (See one of their performances of "Riviera Paradise".) Now in his late seventies with a full head of white hair, he is a national treasure. As I was writing this, I discovered that he has since announced he would be stepping back from touring with Joe after a decade. He will be missed. I'm glad to hear him perform live this once, as unexpected as it was. Indeed, the ephemeral nature of performances make them more precious.
When I knew I was going to be in the UK for a week, I looked up concerts there, and behold, there were actually three!
Lawrence. They are an eight-person band fronted by the Lawrence siblings, Clyde and Gracie, from New York.
They were performing their final show of their 16-month "Family Business" tour at the O2 Brixton Academy. They are one of the few young bands today that perform fully on their own without backing tracks or sessionists. It was a Monday night, but it was fully packed and full of energy. Taking my own advice, I went to the merch stand after I got in, and got myself an autographed poster. Other than needing a proper (odd-sized) frame, it will be on my wall.
LEISURE. They are a six-person electronic funk and soul band from New Zealand, on their "Welcome to The Mood" tour. They were back in London 10 years after they first performed there the year they were founded.
Their band is all about the good vibes and presents excellent listening while working or chilling out. The performed at The Roundhouse, the historic music and arts venue in Camden.
One thing I learned: It's probably better to be standing on the ground at a concert in the UK. The mosh pits seem to be orderly and calm. This is NOT always true in the US.
Hans Zimmer Live. The legendary film composer was on his "The Next Level" world tour, and performed at the iconic O2 Arena. I listen to his soundtracks all the time, even watching interviews of him describing how he composed for various movies. As a fan, finally hearing him live was a big highlight.
I was surprised to learn that his long time violinist Rusanda Panfili and cellist Tina Guo were no longer touring with him, but that did not change the experience.
I could go on for hours about his music, but I will not bore you. If you appreciate his cinema soundtracks, I highly recommend going to one of his concerts.
Note for the uninitiated: There are two official Hans Zimmer groups: (i) Hans Zimmer Live, where he himself with a band travel to perform his biggest hits; and (ii) The World of Hans Zimmer, which is a touring symphony orchestra that he has curated to perform his music. He does not appear in it.
I enjoyed touring London too, but the music made the trip truly special and worthy of thanksgiving.
Victoria Memorial, in front of the Buckingham Palace
Back in Virginia, we had our very own first Antithesis Winter Recital. Nick, one of the founders, hosted the company at his home. With his piano and a few enterprising team members, they played several classical and contemporary pieces for the rest of the team. It was simple but memorable.
Other memorable or notable things this year include:
- Going back to Georgetown University to volunteer as a Case Room Manager at the annual MBA Executive Challenge, and as Leadership Coach to a team of Master of Science in Management (MiM) students for their Leadership Communications course.
At the Leadership Challenge with my MiM coachees
- Quitting social media, except LinkedIn which I still use for work. All the other apps are no longer on my phone and I have completely lost the desire to check them even on the browser. The core reason I was able to break the habit is my looming mortality: as I inch towards my forties, I am increasingly cognizant that my time is limited, and I don't want to waste any of it. I might still check social media once in a while, but it is definitely less than once a month.
- Getting used to the cold of winter. I had never experienced true winter prior to my time here, so my first winter was brutal. I kept the thermostat at 77°F/25°C all through that season and struggled with the dry air. Today, I don't even turn the heat on as the apartment building maintains its warmth at around 68°F/20°C. Friends have told me that this indoor temperature is normal during winter, and I'm now accustomed to it with appropriate clothing. Also, I have a humidifier maintaining 40-50% RH. This is another win until I go back to blistering Singapore for Lunar New Year.
- Attending the 16th Annual McGowan Symposium on Business Leadership and Ethics at the Wharton Business School in Philadelphia. You might know that I was the Class of 2024 McGowan Fellow from Georgetown, which meant being invited back for each year's Symposium as an alumnus. Aside from discussing prevailing issues in business, I got to catch up with my fellow alumni, and welcome the new Fellows.
We did a team-building activity on a ropes course at Outward Bound School Philadelphia. Our instructor overheard that my classmates and I were planning to meet in New York later that year, and recommended that we watch a off-Broadway musical her daughter stars in. We did that in December, and enjoyed a cozy dinner at Laut, a Malaysian restaurant.
It wasn't my suggestion, but I always enjoy food from close to home. I also took the opportunity to see the (in-)famous Rockefeller Tree.
- Paying off my student loans in full 3 months before the year ended. Being debt-free is a wonderful thing.
Despite the anxiety brought about by my visa for much of the year, I will look back upon 2025 fondly. It was so much fun. I thank God it has worked out so well.
2026 Outlook
I think it is good to start each year with an overall theme to the year. It gives a frame to focus on as we go about the year. This 2026 I have one: Renewal.
My inspiration is from the Bible:
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.— Isaiah 40:31, New International Version (NIV) (emphasis mine)
The rest of this section discusses how I see renewal in various aspects of my life.
Renewal at work. We have new stretch goals this year as a result of our successful Series A raise last month. This means renewed focus: I will continue working on customer experience and success while getting involved in more aspects of product and engineering. We are now fully in the scaling phase of the company. It is simultaneously invigorating and frightening, but I'm all for it.
Renewal in my environment. This involves two areas:
- My living environment. I might be moving. My lease will be coming up mid-April, and I am leaning towards moving to another apartment. While the community here is great, there are issues with the apartment that are pushing my friends here out too. Moreover, we might move our office to accommodate a larger team. If that becomes true, I'll definitely relocate to minimize travel time.
- My tech environment. This has been in the works for a while now: I'm moving out of the Windows ecosystem and moving fully to Linux, in an effort to minimize my data being used to train AI, and avoid the general mess that is Windows 11. I have been using NixOS, one of the Linux distros, for more than a year now at my workplace, so I'm very comfortable with it. My goal is to get this done by mid-February — at that point I'll be heading back to Singapore for Lunar New Year.
Renewal in health. In 2025, I had cut down alcohol drastically in the second half of the year, as I found it starting to affect me more than it previously did, especially in my sleep. So I go for 0% alcohol beer and wine today — there are surprisingly many options in the US. Food is largely fine; I've been eating whole foods, fruits, and vegetables at regular times, while avoiding added sugar, candy, and processed foods, and will continue to do so.
However, I have neglected exercising regularly and having a regular sleep schedule. These are things I want to fix. My plan for exercise is to start climbing again at a local rock climbing gym, while running at least twice a week. I'm also thinking of getting onto one of those gym workout apps, as I find the biggest hindrance for me is figuring out what to do. Lastly, to facilitate a more consistent sleep schedule, I will cut off screen time by 11 PM, and figure out a sleep hygiene routine. This will have to work hand-in-hand with exercise — I believe it will help me get to bed easier after releasing that energy.
Renewal in relationships. I want to be more intentional about building the relationships around me, whether with my MBA friends, neighbors, and McGowan classmates. This means actually setting aside time to reach out and hang out. I still haven't figured out the mechanics of this yet, but a plan is to meet up with someone for coffee whenever I head down to DC for a museum/landmark visit.
Another thing I'll be trying is the app Timeleft. One of my customers introduced it to me last year. As far as I know, it matches you with three strangers each week to have dinner together. It sounds like a fun way to get to know more people.
Renewal in perspectives. As mentioned, I'll be visiting more museums and landmarks, and going to more concerts. The first one is Galdive's later this January.
The thing I'm not too sure about is travel. While it broadens one's perspective and it's something I hope to do more of this year, the list of things here means I realistically cannot be jet-setting all the time. So the plan is to be intentional with my choices. So far, aside from Singapore, I will likely visit London again. I will likely also visit some friends in various parts of the US, though I have nothing confirmed yet.
Renewal in my learning Spanish. One of the goals I had when I entered the US is to become conversationally fluent in Spanish. While I definitely know more than when I first arrived, I still have a long way to go. After doing some research, it seems that Duolingo, despite its many recent changes, is still the way to go. While you will have to pay for it to be really effective, the money isn't the issue — having the time and attention is often a bigger constraint. I will get started here after I'm back from Singapore. Of course, having Hispanic friends and colleagues helps!
Renewal in finance. I have some motivating goals, but I will not be sharing them publicly. I hope you have set some for yourself too.
That's all for now. Here's wishing you a wonderful 2026!
