This is no callout or anything, just food for thought for today provoked by some good conversation on Bluesky a while back.
I have seen D-types live and die far too much in a scene by only interpreting safewords, when every scene is another opportunity instead to hone your situational skills of your scene, your partner, your environment, and even yourself. It's an exercise in mindfulness like no other. And don't get me wrong, safewords are absolutely paramount, but there's so much more that you can do there as well!
Don't just say "oh My s-type isn't calling yellow, we are automatically in good shape." Check in, even if it's silently, even when things feel amazing! Still follow body language, watch closely, and use your skills regardless of traffic light, ESPECIALLY with new partners. Follow up after the scene if You notice some particular types of wincing or motions that might have stood out. They're not necessarily bad of course, but they can open up a dialogue on if Your play partner was liking it or if it was taking them out of the moment, etc. Are you in a dungeon? Keep an eye on those playing around You, those giving Your s-type attention, make sure your scene space is controlled. I personally have a spotter when able if I'm scening in dungeon situations just because of this, or if I accidentally lose a tool or something else around Me needs adjustment.
This concept might be obvious to some, but one thing that I think doesn't get spoken out into the world enough is this: Using the skills at Your disposal does not mean You are not trusting of Your s-type. Shit happens, and learning how to navigate that is one of the most crucial skills of play, from the most brutal RACK to the most tame exploration scene. The worst thing that can happen is that you'll stumble a little as you learn how to find that SITREP; the best thing that can happen is you'll save a scene or even a partner.
Honing to the finest point Your understanding of enthusiastic consent, body language, ambient scene awareness etc. is an art form unto itself.
You're never finished learning; you'll always find more that you can do and provide, but when you get it right?? Your s-type can fly.
Love and blood,
-L 💛🩸
