Ok ladies an enbies an whoever else, we're gonna talk about female orgasms a bit. I'm gonna start by saying cis males can do this too but y'all on estrogen have a super boost in making it work, bc it enhances a lot of the right brainy pieces. So, like, score! Cis guys, I guess you can give it a shot.

Intro

First - for a lot of you, this isn't gonna be easy. You've probably spent a long time getting used to doing things the other way, and omfg this is DIFFERENT. And you're gonna have to unlearn/relearn SO MUCH STUFF.

Like, when I say diff'cult, ain't kidding.

Starting out is gonna be very very slow, its gonna be frustrating, you might cry. This is normal, 'SPECIALLY considering what you've gotta do.

You're also gonna recognize a lot of stuff that cis women say about what it takes for them, because its all fucking true. So like, if you've ever said "wow, that sounds hard an involved" - YES IT IS.

But, but but but - if you can learn it, you can figure out how to get there faster till you can cum jus from someone saying the right thing at the right time.

And NGL - for some of you, progesterone is a godsend for this process. It can really help set the mood if you're one of the folks that get unbelievably feral from it.

Its gonna be different - don't expect it to feel the same. Don't expect the same kind of intensity. It can be intense, but... umm... you'll see. Its a different kind of intense. An like, it can also be NOT intense, an that can be just as wonderful... especially bc it can have ZERO refractory period. You can just keep going and going until you're too exhausted. And don't be afraid if your brain jus like totally shuts down while you're having one or after. Like, you might become the stupidest bitch ever for a lil bit. THIS IS NORMAL. Trans men may totes disagree with this part but - personally, I think they are WAY better and cis men have no fucking clue what they're missing.

Its also not a one-size-fits all. You've gotta find the things that work specifically for you. Is gonna be a whole process an that process isn't gonna look the same. And TBH, I hope this stuff help figure it out - but I have no idea. Please don't dogpile the messenger.

Ok, lets get going with this thing

The Basics

Look, this is entirely NOT about physical stimulation. It can be involved, but its just a helper - you do NOT want to focus here.

This is so so much mental and emotional. We are literally rewiring your brain shit to do this. FR FR!!! I'm not jus making this up. There's all kinds of sciency stuff about this. But like, I'm too lazy to go find the stuff right now, an most of you aren't gonna read it anyways.

Mental Key stuff

Like I already said, we're rewiring brainy things. Important things:

• Feeling of safety
• Expanding awareness of your whole body, not just certain areas
• All that meditation shit about jus, letting your thinkies stop thinking is helpful
• "Melt" is fucking real, an its different then "build"
• EMOTIONS are a super big part too!!!!
• Listening to your body as your thinky turns off

Physical things

• yeah, they can still be important - and they SUPER good tools to work with
• the focus on them is gonna be different
• if you don't like being physically frustrated, you're gonna wanna learn to like being frustrated
• Touch is about sensation, not stimulation!!
• Everything you know about touch is gonna be different.
• All that meditation shit about breathing and relaxing comes into play*
• You can be TOO STIMULATED to do this
• You may wanna put your hitachi away while working on this, it could hurt more than help
• Body cues are totes diff - gotta learn new ones.

Retraining time!!!

Lets brainwash TF out of you!

Unlearning Male Patterns

All the stuff you've done to get to a male orgasm faster or make it more intense is wrong. Not gonna sugar coat that. If you start down that path, you're prolly gonna have to stop, calm down, and start over. Don't worry - this is hard shit. Its gonna happen. Get angry about it, cry, whatever. Don't hold back - this is important too. You're tapping into your brain's emotional pieces at a good time. Just dont make them the focus an let them take over.

Alls that said, we can use some of it for practice, an to guide your brain and body.

Edging 101 - Back to School

Ok, so. You know edging? Yeah. Thats super good practice. You wanna learn to build yourself up, hold an hold it there. While you're holding it you can practice other stuff. Permission to use your wand/vibe here is granted. but...

IMPORTANT: do not edge to seek release

Instead of staying on edge and then climaxing, you want to back off. Try differnt levels of backing off. Learn to let go of the goal. Even take a few minute to calm all the way back down and start over. This will probably make it harder not to climax, but thats good practice too.

And - ok, this is gonna be reality check time - when you get a mastery of this whole process, you're probably NOT going to ejaculate. It is NOT the same thing at all. But I am fucking telling you, it can be WAY better, and is ABSOLUTELY worth it. Point being though - you gotta let that go. If thats your goal, turn back now.

An yeah, this can be time consuming AF.

Ok, but. This part above isn't super useful on its own. You've gotta learn to use both the time coming up, an the time coming down to do the actual for real practice.

Start to feel the sensations over your whole body. Move your brain away from just the stimulated areas. Feel the air on your skin, the gentle sensations of it moving across you. Feel how they go deeper, find the parts of your body that feel warm, and calm, and maybe loved if it applies. Let your mind help it spread by imagining it flowing through you. Think comforting thoughts - safety, kindness. (and for those much more aggressive folks, don't worry - you can get back there, I jus dunno how to start there).

Even think arousing thoughts that don't involve climax. But try to avoid words an focus on the sensations involved.

You want to feel how these sensations grow in your body and then floẇ away gently. Coming down and calming can become almost as enjoyable as building up. Seriously, focus on how nice it feels to just let go of the goal of climax. You don't need it! This isn't about just a moment - wham bam thank you ma'am.

If you have a kink, you can try to find a way to work it in here too. This is very good "mmmm...Yes, Miss...." time for me. Fantasize. Imagine. If you have a partner, you can include them in it.

While you're coming down, put down the toys, use your hands gently over your body and touch lightly, or grab harshly if that works - but you want to focus not on the pain, but the pleasure you're getting from it. How its hitting you deeper.

Avoid areas that usually get you off! Take your mind away from climax, from whatever stuff was getting you there. Your whole skin is one single erogenous zone if you can listen to it. Focus on the sensations - but try NOT to think about them. Thought is your enemy. Emotion emotion emotion.

You may even notice that certain touch is going to make those sensations and emotions grow, even as your body is getting further and further away from climax. This is GOOD - you want this!!!! This is what we're trying to get you to notice!!!

When you get really good at this, you can get closer and closer, and even learn to just stop climax before it takes over. And not in that frustrating misfire way where its totally unfulfilling. You may even want to practice just ... stopping there and going on to netflix or something.

Remember - this is all just getting into your brainy bits and moving around some pieces that have been stuck in place for quite a while. Its not gonna be easy for most folks. Brains can really lock down on shit - especially when its literally keyed into the reward centers. So like i said, expect frustration and time.

Wishin you loves and warmth. Hope I can get to writting a Part 2 soon!.