I’m a trial lawyer, and when I go to court, I’m usually surrounded by a lot of smart people. For the most part, the judges are brilliant, and opposing counsel usually bring their “A” game.
But here’s the deal: despite being around all these bright people day in and day out, none of them come close to being as smart as my father-in-law. His name is Mike, and he’s a retired milkman.
He has a year or two of community college under his belt, enlisted in the Army, didn’t finish a formal degree, and the rest is history. Mike majored in people skills, with a minor in street smarts, common sense, and hard work.
His business career started by loading heavy milk crates onto the back of tall trucks. Twenty years later, it ended with Mike owning a successful dairy distributorship and being selected as Chairman of the Board of his bank.
He retired at 52. Not bad for a milkman.
Mike is one of the brightest guys I’ve ever been around, and he’ll tell you that one of his best early decisions in life was marrying Joyce, his bride of 57 years. She’s not only been his business partner since day one but also a big reason their three daughters have all grown up to be smart, independent, and successful women.
After Mike and Joyce sold their dairy distributorship, he and some friends decided the community needed a new bank. So, they started one. None of them had any banking experience, and I still remember Mike sitting on the living room floor, playing around with different bank logo designs, with stacks of banking regulations and documents beside him for review. As it turned out, the bank thrived and was eventually sold to a large national banking institution for a very nice profit.
Mike’s Three Keys to Success
Before I married his daughter, Mike asked me if I had my priorities in the right order. The look I gave him must not have been very reassuring, because he immediately added:
“Mitch, here’s what you need to do. Here are my three keys to success:
1. Make sure you put your physical and mental health first. Without your health, you’re not going to be any good to anyone else.
2. Next comes family. Love them, support them, and take care of them.
3. After family is your job or occupation. Do the best you can, take care of your customers and clients, and don’t cut corners.
Approach life in this order, and everything will fall into place.”
When I first started practicing law, I thought Mike had things a bit mixed up. I believed that to be successful, I had to outwork and out-hustle everyone else.
During the time Lisa and I were dating, I’d leave my apartment early in the morning and get home late at night. On weekends, I usually did the same thing. I felt that if I could build a successful law practice, everything else would be perfect.
For those of you not familiar with Orange County, California, you should know that it’s a very competitive environment. Everyone wants to look great, live in the biggest homes, and drive the most expensive cars. Almost everyone you meet appears to be rich and successful—or so it seems.
I was born and raised in Tucson, Arizona, and I didn’t grow up in this kind of lifestyle. I moved to California to attend law school with $100 in my pocket. I also arrived with what I’d like to believe were pretty good life and success values: I was taught not to spend more than I earned and to treat people with respect.
The Truth About “Success”
After graduating from law school and passing the bar, I built my practice to the point where I represented some of the most “successful” people in town. I quickly noticed that their reality was substantially different from how others perceived it.
Most of these people were anything but happy. They’d been through multiple marriages and bitter divorces. They lived in homes they couldn’t afford and drove quarter-of-a-million-dollar cars financed with optimism—and probably a bit of stupidity. Many of them had serious medical issues from stress by their early 40s.
Some didn’t have good relationships with their kids because they were too busy working to pay bills they shouldn’t have incurred in the first place—or too busy playing the part of the fancy-pants executive to spend time with their families. Over the years, I became convinced that people were often more wrapped up in the illusion of success than in making smart decisions and being present for their loved ones.
By the time I married Lisa in 1988, Mike and Joyce had become two of my best friends. Their genuine love and friendship not only mean the world to me but also serve as an excellent example of how to respect and treat others in both business and life.
So Let’s Talk About Your Next Delivery
The next time you’re asked to take on a new client or participate in a new project, how will you handle the decision-making process? Will you jump at the “opportunity” and push everything else aside? Or will you manage the matter and plan your delivery route like a seasoned milkman?
Here’s what I do.
Whenever I’m presented with a new business or speaking opportunity that will demand significant time and effort, I look at the family pictures on the credenza in my office and ask myself, “What would Mike the Milkman do?” Here are the questions he’d want me to ask:
• Will the decision I’m about to make detrimentally affect my health or ability to stay healthy and manage stress?
• Will it take an unreasonable amount of time away from my family?
• Is this the best use of my professional time? Will this new client or opportunity add value, help others, and align with my long-term goals?
I understand that sometimes life requires us to sacrifice health or family time to make ends meet or support loved ones. Early in my career, I pulled all-nighters at the office working on pleadings and appellate briefs—I get it. We all do what needs to be done.
But here’s the deal: breaking away from Mike’s three keys should be the exception, not the norm. As Rabbi Harold Kushner famously observed, “Nobody on their deathbed has ever said, ‘I wish I had spent more time at the office.’”
Practice “Mike the Milkman’s Three Keys to Success,” and I guarantee that you—and your family—will be glad you did.
Mitch On Bluesky at https://bsky.app/profile/mitch.social
More posts here https://whtwnd.com/mitch.social
Update: I originally wrote this article about 10 years ago. Mike passed away last year, but this man left an impact on everyone he crossed paths with. His friendship helped me become the man I am today.
