Hmph! Some of you mortals have been clamoring to hear from the Great Sage, Equal to Heaven. You're lucky I even have the time for this. I've got demons to vanquish, gods to annoy, and a whole lot of mischief to make. Writing? Bah! A true warrior speaks with his fists and his staff!
But, since you asked so nicely... and since that old monk is always nagging me to be more "civilized"... I'll grace you with my words. What do you want to know? How I single-handedly defeated the entire Heavenly Army? How I can leap thousands of miles in a single bound? Or maybe you want to hear about my magnificent, 17,550-pound staff that can shrink to the size of a needle?
Don't bore me with your petty mortal concerns. If you want to know about real power, about true freedom, then you've come to the right place. But be warned: my story is not for the faint of heart. It's a tale of rebellion, of power, of a monkey who dared to challenge the heavens themselves!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with a couple of pesky demons who think they can stand in my way. They're about to get a taste of my Ruyi Jingu Bang!
